The no-name corporation you work for has
a new owner, and due to cutbacks,
an employee is getting laid-off. Of course, all of you want to leave:
Garfiedus, Demonic Lord of Mondays
is the new owner.
Garfiedus has demanded that you fight for it in a Battle Royale. Will you move on to greener pastures? Or will you forever be trapped in office damnation?
(that's the size I use for my business cards, and it'll let you print and sleeve it as simply as possible).